Saturday, October 13, 2012

31 for 21: The Bald and Ugly Truth

I hesitate to write this post.  I really do.  But I think it needs to be said.

You can't make people care.

I started this blog to open my life up to "Outlanders".  The Down Syndrome community is pretty "tight" reaches out to envelop you pretty darn quickly.  We have support systems that go out like a spiderweb across the entire United also does mind-numbing transcontinental jumps when needed.  It even has a language of its own that is slowly permeating the rest of the world little by little.

There are 3 distinct sects of "Outlanders":

There are people that open their arms like second nature, even to things they don't really understand.  They have soft, open hearts that suck you in and make you at home and they slowly learn about you and how to be a better friend and it only strengthens the bond.  I know that each and every post I publish is taken as another thread bonding them to us...

There are also people that WANT to do that, but they are scared.  They don't understand.  But they really genuinely desire to be friends.  Education and sharing go a long way.  They take baby steps and slowly open their comfort box to you, and eventually their hearts blossom like a flower and the final opening becomes a beautiful thing.  These are the people I most often write "to"...I share the silliness of Elise, her triumphs, her funny stories, the unique struggles so that they can learn to they can know we are really not so different after all...

Then there are people who don't understand and don't really want to.  It takes them out of their comfort zone or their organized PLAN. And their zone/plan is really all tied up neatly with their own expectations of life, and the messiness of special needs is just more than they want to deal with.  It may be that it takes more effort, it isn't Grand enough, or it makes them aware of the spider cracks of imperfection in their own lives...or any number of a host of excuses.  I used to think that the preaching of principles would crack their facade, and it doesn' I quit...

SO.  What am I saying? The same thing that I say in political situations, ironically enough.  Love those on your side, share with those who are searching, and don't give yourself an ulcer trying to change someone else's's their loss.  It's between them and God...and it's highly unlikely that you have any control over their heart.


  1. Very nice. I'd never thought about the different types of others, but you've spelled it out perfectly!

  2. I feel the exact same way. People who aren't open to things outside themselves will never see things without that filter. And, by my thought, are poorer for it.