Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Putting Out Fires

For almost all of Elise's life, we have been functioning as wildfire fighters.  We were actively battling a blaze that could do serious damage, or we were looking forward, trying to cut off one early before it did damage.  Both medical and developmental.

It is exhausting and rather puts blinders on you so you miss other situations in life, simply because they aren't at emergency levels.  Sometimes it is stupid things, and you realize that younger siblings don't know how to ride bikes or swim real strokes.  Sometimes it is bigger, but you don't realize until you hit code red for someone else. 

I don't want it to be like that.  I read a book as a middle schooler that made me worry about situations like that, but as always, just because you are aware in theory, doesn't mean you will be able to stop it.  I try to stop, even in crises, to have deliberate moments with each of my kids, but stuff still slid by.

I am happy to report that we have had several fires to put out for my others lately, and Elise has had a few things forced to slide.  I know that sounds funny, especially after what I just wrote, but do you understand what that means??  SHE WASN'T AT EMERGENCY LEVELS!!!  Like it was so nice and boring that I missed her growing FOUR INCHES!!  FOUR.  I just cannot even wrap my head around that.  This also means that her health is stable enough to grow.  Unlike when she was a baby and she couldn't grow because her body was too busy keeping her alive.  Or when she was a toddler and it was trying to fight cancer.  Or when she was a little girl and it was trying to tell us her thyroid was broken.  OR when she was having such a bad time with puberty that she missed well over half of her school year.  Or when her Vitamin D levels were so low she couldn't stay awake. 

I am excited over the height, but I am most excited about what that actually means.

I am excited that she can get in on THE REASONS I HATE MY MOTHER COMPILED FOR MY THERAPIST list that every child gets to make....and that they whip out when they are raising their own their kids compile their own list.

Living life without panic is a good place to be.  I look forward to more.