I've been sick. Lots and lots of sick. Sinusitis, migraines, ear infection, fever, sore throat, voice loss, body aches, retching, congestion, and the list just keeps going...it's verging on ridiculous!!
But. After an abysmal 2 weeks of "running" (more like limping along and then getting sicker) I finally ponied up and went to the doctor...after I found blood coming from my ear this morning.
I think I didn't allow myself to be "sick" because everybody else was, too. And when Elise gets sick, she sleeps, hits, spits, and is generally a sensory nightmare. Which is why I've neglected this blog terribly. We've been playing "Save the Littles", which is where I make sure that the little girls do not get clocked upside the head, etc. while Elise is on a rampage.
I have found myself getting nursemaid's/tennis elbow. I wake in terrible pain. I had honestly concluded that it was my 5am visitors (Elise and Charlotte) sleeping on it and making it lock into bad positions. I discovered that is not the case yesterday evening. It's Elise's fits of anger resulting in naughty bouts of "Crack the Whip" or "Red Rover" where my elbow takes the brunt. I could really stand that this stage be over...like done...or I'll end up needing reconstructive surgery before I'm 40...and that's not that far off...
Elise is desperately concerned about me being sick...especially since I lost my voice...although she is hyper-aware that if she can't hear me tell her to stay out of the pantry, then what's to stop her? So it's a mixed bag.
I like to think that if I can get everybody well, we will be in a really good place because even with all this mess going down, things are still pretty happy...We boogied to Christmas music this week on the way to school and celebrated the 6 month mark of finding "Scared Shrekless" (the Halloween special) on Netflix. Elise loves "Gingey"!! We've played with playsilks and plastic ponies, we've made tents, and played with dollies....you know, the ones I made and they're not supposed to touch... All in all, things are going in a good direction...Including the giggles I was reduced to when I learned that Elise told her teachers that she went to a friend's house and played games and had cake with over Spring Break...with whom she did not. And yet, when they tried to confirm this story with said friend, he confirmed her story, 100%... So, even though we are struggling with the whole communication thing, something's sneaking through! :)
Before the weekend is out, I assure you that I will post the next Esther Serial! Watch for it!!
Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts
Friday, May 4, 2012
Thursday, October 6, 2011
31 for 21: #6 - Things You Should Know (part 2)
This is a part of yesterday's POST.
Part 2: Something you should know about my child with Downs?
Sometimes she man-handles you so you can experience fun.
Elise has a history of physicality. Sometimes negative. She has really struggled with impulse control in conjunction with her ADHD. She acts out in frustration. She acts out in anger. She acts out in "OH-I-should-touch-that!" abruptness.
But sometimes, she thinks you're missing out. There are times where she will physically move you into an experience she thinks you should have. This is not out of mean-ness. This is out of a genuine desire that you have some fun.
She is currently doing GREAT in school. The ADHD impulse is reigned in by our LAST line of defense medication. (WHEW!) And after last year (HERE and HERE), you have no idea how very thankful I am!!! But now she is have a little difficulty on the play ground. Because she cannot get her thoughts out in words properly, she is manipulating friends on to swings, slides, and monkey bars. They don't really want to be pushed onto playground equipment, but she doesn't know how to say, "Come on! Let's go play on ______!" Or, "This is really fun!! Come try this!!"
So. Sometimes, she just wants you to have fun. So if you you see her forcing someone onto a play set, maybe ask her why, instead of slapping her down, physically or emotionally. "Elise do you want So-and-So to play with you on ____? Why don't you ask them to 'come on?'" Give her easy words to use...she'll try. I promise.
P.S.
Oh, and you and your child can totally say, "No." Just because she has disabilities doesn't mean she gets to be a bully any more than she should get bullied. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. See HERE
Part 2: Something you should know about my child with Downs?
Sometimes she man-handles you so you can experience fun.
Elise has a history of physicality. Sometimes negative. She has really struggled with impulse control in conjunction with her ADHD. She acts out in frustration. She acts out in anger. She acts out in "OH-I-should-touch-that!" abruptness.
But sometimes, she thinks you're missing out. There are times where she will physically move you into an experience she thinks you should have. This is not out of mean-ness. This is out of a genuine desire that you have some fun.
She is currently doing GREAT in school. The ADHD impulse is reigned in by our LAST line of defense medication. (WHEW!) And after last year (HERE and HERE), you have no idea how very thankful I am!!! But now she is have a little difficulty on the play ground. Because she cannot get her thoughts out in words properly, she is manipulating friends on to swings, slides, and monkey bars. They don't really want to be pushed onto playground equipment, but she doesn't know how to say, "Come on! Let's go play on ______!" Or, "This is really fun!! Come try this!!"
So. Sometimes, she just wants you to have fun. So if you you see her forcing someone onto a play set, maybe ask her why, instead of slapping her down, physically or emotionally. "Elise do you want So-and-So to play with you on ____? Why don't you ask them to 'come on?'" Give her easy words to use...she'll try. I promise.
P.S.
Oh, and you and your child can totally say, "No." Just because she has disabilities doesn't mean she gets to be a bully any more than she should get bullied. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. See HERE
Friday, March 11, 2011
Awareness Brag
I have a story for you. The funny thing is that under normal circumstances, this wouldn't be encouaraged. AT ALL!
As I've said before, Elise has a behavior chart at school...It is traveling path with cars. As one might guess, it involves light colors, Green being a great day, Yellow being a day with a few little issues, and a Red day results from having one with either a couple of really bad choices or lots of little bad choices. Elise, at the beginning of the year, got Orange added to her day because she was going through too fast. (They can earn backwards, too, if there were no safety issues that needed to be driven home.)
Every day after school, she gets asked by me how her day was. At first, she didn't "get" it at all. Then, she had the final color put on her hand so she could remember. Now, she remembers and can mostly tell you what happened. (Well, in a word association game kind of way..)
Yesterday, I asked her how her day was and she chirps "GREEN day!!" and then skips and tells me "----, YELLOW day!!!" At first I missed it and was not properly enthusiastic, so she repeated herself, that her friend had a Yellow day...and I exclaimed that she should not rat out her friends...but the more I thought on it, the more pleased I was...in fact, even her teacher encouraged her in being observant...and it kinda threw me for a second. But honestly, being aware of oneself, and being aware of the comparison with someone else, is a developmental milestone. As usual, it's one that usually occurs when kids are tiny, but it is that awareness that leads to proper social interchanges. WHICH IS WHAT WE ARE WORKING ON!!!
So my brag this week? Elise knew what her own behavior was. Not only that? She knew what her friend's behavior was. Not only that? She knew that her day was better than her friend's day. AND she was proud of herself! After such a bumpy start, this is wonderful news! It gives me hope that she will continue to understand the impact of her decisions, and that the extrapolation of comparing her behaviors to others will result in her mimicking the positive behaviors.
WHEW!! The things I never thought I'd get excited about!! :)
As I've said before, Elise has a behavior chart at school...It is traveling path with cars. As one might guess, it involves light colors, Green being a great day, Yellow being a day with a few little issues, and a Red day results from having one with either a couple of really bad choices or lots of little bad choices. Elise, at the beginning of the year, got Orange added to her day because she was going through too fast. (They can earn backwards, too, if there were no safety issues that needed to be driven home.)
Every day after school, she gets asked by me how her day was. At first, she didn't "get" it at all. Then, she had the final color put on her hand so she could remember. Now, she remembers and can mostly tell you what happened. (Well, in a word association game kind of way..)
Yesterday, I asked her how her day was and she chirps "GREEN day!!" and then skips and tells me "----, YELLOW day!!!" At first I missed it and was not properly enthusiastic, so she repeated herself, that her friend had a Yellow day...and I exclaimed that she should not rat out her friends...but the more I thought on it, the more pleased I was...in fact, even her teacher encouraged her in being observant...and it kinda threw me for a second. But honestly, being aware of oneself, and being aware of the comparison with someone else, is a developmental milestone. As usual, it's one that usually occurs when kids are tiny, but it is that awareness that leads to proper social interchanges. WHICH IS WHAT WE ARE WORKING ON!!!
So my brag this week? Elise knew what her own behavior was. Not only that? She knew what her friend's behavior was. Not only that? She knew that her day was better than her friend's day. AND she was proud of herself! After such a bumpy start, this is wonderful news! It gives me hope that she will continue to understand the impact of her decisions, and that the extrapolation of comparing her behaviors to others will result in her mimicking the positive behaviors.
WHEW!! The things I never thought I'd get excited about!! :)
Sunday, October 31, 2010
31 for 21: #31 Tricks and Treats
We enjoyed Halloween tonight. Gabriel was too old to trick-or-treat this year and got to be an "adult" and helped to supervise his sisters...he went as a biker dude in tattoos and my Sturgis T-shirt. Amelia went as Tinkerbell. Charlotte went as a Squirt the Turtle from "Finding Nemo". Elise went as a Cat/Wolf...depending on the moment you asked...very fuzzy and white with a tail and no ears. She apparently relied on sound effects. She was happy...that's all that matters, right?
I am stealing shamelessly from a bloggy friend. She has done this for the last several years, and it was so cool, I am copy-cat-ing. :) She lists 21 factoids about her son and it is like a personal snap-shot for each year. 21 for the 21st chromosomal set that determines Down Syndrome.
This is my first "21 things about Elise":
1) Elise LOVES wolves, sharks, and pigs!! Charlotte's Web, 3 Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf, you name it!
2) She could live on sandwiches. Turkey on Wheat or PB&J for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
3) Elise likes to sleep "upside down" in her bed. Her head at the foot end.
4) Elise demands that she have her Care Bears lined up on either side of her pillow. If they are not lined up in the proper order, she will switch them up or she can't sleep.
5) She loves "How to Train Your Dragon", "Ratatouille", "Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were Rabbit", and "Toy Story".
6) Elise loves stripes and wants to look like "Where's Waldo" every day.
7) She loves computer games and her Leapster.
8) Elise has only just started playing independently and it involves Playmobil toys. And she will happily play for hours. She loves playing with the wild animals in the barn. Which I find funny!
9) She always wants you to read but will only sit long enough for about half of whatever you were going to read. Whether the book is 10 pages or 60 pages...
10) She hates shoes and socks and takes them off the second you start the car or pull out into traffic.
11) She has funny little duck feet. Her feet have narrow heels and a very wide ball of her foot resulting feet the shape of triangles. I love seeing her wet foot prints...and so does she, she walks in circles watching her own footprints.
12) She has only just gotten brave enough to get in the pool with arm floaties on...and two times at the very end of the summer she allowed them to actually float her.
13) Elise is Tweedle-Dee to Charlotte's Tweedle-Dum
14) Elise calls her two favorite "shadows" (the people who watch her at church and make sure she doesn't run away) "Booby and Mook". They are otherwise known as Shelby and Brooke, and them being called that never ceases to amuse me.
15) Elise hates having her hair brushed and likes her hair cut short.
16) She will growl and spit and do a little lock-kneed, goose-step march jump if you try and make her do something she doesn't want to do. There are some days I would like to try it. :)
17) She thinks the IHOP commercial where the trick-or-treat-ers get pancakes and syrup in their bags, is fall-down-on-the-floor hilarious.
18) Elise loves pizza, but won't eat anything on it but cheese. (And won't eat cheese on sandwiches.) She is going through a stage where she wants the pizza cut up and to eat it with a fork.
19) Elise LOVES to mix and cook and look at recipe books! But refuses to eat any of it.
20) She loves microphones and will do just about anything to talk into one!
21) She sucks her thumb when she is tired, upset, or stressed. She likes to pet your cheek or eyelashes if she can sit close enough. And it is probably why she has enough room in her mouth for her teeth...so her dentist is not terribly committed to encouraging her to stop sucking yet, unlike 4 years ago...now he credits her with spreading her own palate...so she gets to buy a little more time...and I am thankful for it for her!
I look forward to seeing how she grows and changes! I can't wait to look back over a few years of these lists!!! Happy October!!!
I am stealing shamelessly from a bloggy friend. She has done this for the last several years, and it was so cool, I am copy-cat-ing. :) She lists 21 factoids about her son and it is like a personal snap-shot for each year. 21 for the 21st chromosomal set that determines Down Syndrome.
This is my first "21 things about Elise":
1) Elise LOVES wolves, sharks, and pigs!! Charlotte's Web, 3 Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf, you name it!
2) She could live on sandwiches. Turkey on Wheat or PB&J for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
3) Elise likes to sleep "upside down" in her bed. Her head at the foot end.
4) Elise demands that she have her Care Bears lined up on either side of her pillow. If they are not lined up in the proper order, she will switch them up or she can't sleep.
5) She loves "How to Train Your Dragon", "Ratatouille", "Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were Rabbit", and "Toy Story".
6) Elise loves stripes and wants to look like "Where's Waldo" every day.
7) She loves computer games and her Leapster.
8) Elise has only just started playing independently and it involves Playmobil toys. And she will happily play for hours. She loves playing with the wild animals in the barn. Which I find funny!
9) She always wants you to read but will only sit long enough for about half of whatever you were going to read. Whether the book is 10 pages or 60 pages...
10) She hates shoes and socks and takes them off the second you start the car or pull out into traffic.
11) She has funny little duck feet. Her feet have narrow heels and a very wide ball of her foot resulting feet the shape of triangles. I love seeing her wet foot prints...and so does she, she walks in circles watching her own footprints.
12) She has only just gotten brave enough to get in the pool with arm floaties on...and two times at the very end of the summer she allowed them to actually float her.
13) Elise is Tweedle-Dee to Charlotte's Tweedle-Dum
14) Elise calls her two favorite "shadows" (the people who watch her at church and make sure she doesn't run away) "Booby and Mook". They are otherwise known as Shelby and Brooke, and them being called that never ceases to amuse me.
15) Elise hates having her hair brushed and likes her hair cut short.
16) She will growl and spit and do a little lock-kneed, goose-step march jump if you try and make her do something she doesn't want to do. There are some days I would like to try it. :)
17) She thinks the IHOP commercial where the trick-or-treat-ers get pancakes and syrup in their bags, is fall-down-on-the-floor hilarious.
18) Elise loves pizza, but won't eat anything on it but cheese. (And won't eat cheese on sandwiches.) She is going through a stage where she wants the pizza cut up and to eat it with a fork.
19) Elise LOVES to mix and cook and look at recipe books! But refuses to eat any of it.
20) She loves microphones and will do just about anything to talk into one!
21) She sucks her thumb when she is tired, upset, or stressed. She likes to pet your cheek or eyelashes if she can sit close enough. And it is probably why she has enough room in her mouth for her teeth...so her dentist is not terribly committed to encouraging her to stop sucking yet, unlike 4 years ago...now he credits her with spreading her own palate...so she gets to buy a little more time...and I am thankful for it for her!
I look forward to seeing how she grows and changes! I can't wait to look back over a few years of these lists!!! Happy October!!!
31 for 21: #29 Live Action
Sorry I didn't post on Friday, but we had to jump through our hats to get to Chattanooga and see Disney Princesses on Ice.
My very-best-friend-for-a-million-years moved this summer 2 hours north of Chattanooga and made the spread between us 4 hours... Growing up makes friendships complicated sometimes. She is one of 3 friends that moved away in a 4 month period. For the record, nobody else is allowed to move. Seriously. Or it's going to feel like I'm the one who moved.
But, I digress, as usual.
She called a few weeks back and asked if me if I wanted to take all our girls to see Disney Princesses on Ice. Her husband could get a discount. Oh, yeah! She called back later offering to give Elise her ticket as her birthday present...which I said yes to, if she liked it. :)
So, after another awful Elise-afternoon (I'm beginning to wonder if we should write half-days into her IEP...) I threw myself out of the car-line on Friday and proceeded to get hung up on every single possible traffic slow-down.
We got there a smidge late, but in time for all the good stuff. We got there in time for Aladdin, which is one of Elise's favorites...but even Aladdin could not assuage the fear of going down the open stairs of an arena...so, we are there late, and Elise is doing a wail/growl thing as she inches down the stairs to our VERY good seats....only a few dirty looks... As soon as we find our seats, Elise is promptly spell-bound by the lights and music, the stairs forgotten. After every single program featuring a princess, Elise would turn to me enraptured and plead "More? or home?" She was thrilled EVERY time I promised more to come.
Elise LOVES baseball, basketball, and hockey. I find myself wondering if she loves the sports or the venue. She loves the live action stuff. She loves to cheer. She stood after every program and clapped and cheered and "woot, WOOT"-ed.
Rather than take out a home-loan for concessions and memorabilia, I snuck in Princess Polly Pockets and Goldfish..which they received at the intermission...and after the trip to the bathroom, up and down the stairs and apparently freaky sinks in the bathrooms, everybody deserved a prize for being associated with us!! I am thankful I went with a friend as loyal as family and I didn't fly solo.
After the intermission, the final program was the entire story of Cinderella. Complete with the mice and magic. Elise was utterly enchanted and captivated. She gasped and was bewitched at every turn.
I am, personally, not sure if I was more beguiled by the show or Elise's pleasure. I expected Amelia to be thrilled, for her little heart to be filled with all the princesses and magic, but I didn't know what to expect from Elise.
Disney proved why they are a power to be reckoned with, once again. And why their name is synonymous with magic.
My very-best-friend-for-a-million-years moved this summer 2 hours north of Chattanooga and made the spread between us 4 hours... Growing up makes friendships complicated sometimes. She is one of 3 friends that moved away in a 4 month period. For the record, nobody else is allowed to move. Seriously. Or it's going to feel like I'm the one who moved.
But, I digress, as usual.
She called a few weeks back and asked if me if I wanted to take all our girls to see Disney Princesses on Ice. Her husband could get a discount. Oh, yeah! She called back later offering to give Elise her ticket as her birthday present...which I said yes to, if she liked it. :)
So, after another awful Elise-afternoon (I'm beginning to wonder if we should write half-days into her IEP...) I threw myself out of the car-line on Friday and proceeded to get hung up on every single possible traffic slow-down.
We got there a smidge late, but in time for all the good stuff. We got there in time for Aladdin, which is one of Elise's favorites...but even Aladdin could not assuage the fear of going down the open stairs of an arena...so, we are there late, and Elise is doing a wail/growl thing as she inches down the stairs to our VERY good seats....only a few dirty looks... As soon as we find our seats, Elise is promptly spell-bound by the lights and music, the stairs forgotten. After every single program featuring a princess, Elise would turn to me enraptured and plead "More? or home?" She was thrilled EVERY time I promised more to come.
Elise LOVES baseball, basketball, and hockey. I find myself wondering if she loves the sports or the venue. She loves the live action stuff. She loves to cheer. She stood after every program and clapped and cheered and "woot, WOOT"-ed.
Rather than take out a home-loan for concessions and memorabilia, I snuck in Princess Polly Pockets and Goldfish..which they received at the intermission...and after the trip to the bathroom, up and down the stairs and apparently freaky sinks in the bathrooms, everybody deserved a prize for being associated with us!! I am thankful I went with a friend as loyal as family and I didn't fly solo.
After the intermission, the final program was the entire story of Cinderella. Complete with the mice and magic. Elise was utterly enchanted and captivated. She gasped and was bewitched at every turn.
I am, personally, not sure if I was more beguiled by the show or Elise's pleasure. I expected Amelia to be thrilled, for her little heart to be filled with all the princesses and magic, but I didn't know what to expect from Elise.
Disney proved why they are a power to be reckoned with, once again. And why their name is synonymous with magic.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
31 for 21: #28 Mom Card
I'd like to pass on my mom card today. I'd like for when something goes wrong for someone else to have to fix it.
I'd like for an actual brilliant and insightful person to be me for a couple of days...and then when they've figured out how to fix it...I'll come back and buckle down.
I am not brilliant. I will not get the Awesome Mom Award. I am stubborn and can put one foot in front of the other. My spiritual gift is perseverance...that's probably my spiritual curse, too...sometimes I don't know when to quit.
Today, Elise had an incredible morning. She worked hard, followed directions. She kept her hands to herself. She participated.
Today, Elise had a bad afternoon. She hit and hurt one of her best friends.
I have no idea why. Nobody does. She can't tell us. We don't know if it was an impulsive mean moment. We don't know if it was Elise trying to get attention. We don't know if it was frustration. We don't know if it was anger at someone else, something else. We don't know if she was tired. We don't know if her medicine made her feel icky or she just up and got mad.
No idea.
I like to think that when she is able to explain HOW she feels we might be able to set up safety interventions or it won't even come up, because she will be able to express what she wants or needs before the frustration or anger comes out. Until then, I can only hope and pray that we can anticipate and stop her before she hurts someone. I hope and pray that she begins to understand when she does something that is mean or wrong. I hope that some day her good days outweigh her bad days.
I like to brag and tell when she is brilliant. I love to tell you good news and God's miracles. I love to tell stories of "typical moments."
I hate to tell when my baby is mean. I hate to tell when she is hurting. I hate to tell when she is frustrated. I hate to tell about moments that may put her "typical" opportunities at risk. I hate to tell when I don't know what to do.
I am thankful that even bad days are not too insignificant for God's attention. I am thankful that God knows the answers.
I will continue to give her negative behavior the negative consequences that it deserves. I will not turn a blind eye. I will pray. Hard. I will be hopeful and prayerful that she will make better choices as she learns that her friends respond positively to positive choices.
I will pray that her friends will not be hurt. I will pray that they will not fear her and shun her.
I will pray that she will find her place. And I pray that I will have the strength and insight to help her find it..
I'd like for an actual brilliant and insightful person to be me for a couple of days...and then when they've figured out how to fix it...I'll come back and buckle down.
I am not brilliant. I will not get the Awesome Mom Award. I am stubborn and can put one foot in front of the other. My spiritual gift is perseverance...that's probably my spiritual curse, too...sometimes I don't know when to quit.
Today, Elise had an incredible morning. She worked hard, followed directions. She kept her hands to herself. She participated.
Today, Elise had a bad afternoon. She hit and hurt one of her best friends.
I have no idea why. Nobody does. She can't tell us. We don't know if it was an impulsive mean moment. We don't know if it was Elise trying to get attention. We don't know if it was frustration. We don't know if it was anger at someone else, something else. We don't know if she was tired. We don't know if her medicine made her feel icky or she just up and got mad.
No idea.
I like to think that when she is able to explain HOW she feels we might be able to set up safety interventions or it won't even come up, because she will be able to express what she wants or needs before the frustration or anger comes out. Until then, I can only hope and pray that we can anticipate and stop her before she hurts someone. I hope and pray that she begins to understand when she does something that is mean or wrong. I hope that some day her good days outweigh her bad days.
I like to brag and tell when she is brilliant. I love to tell you good news and God's miracles. I love to tell stories of "typical moments."
I hate to tell when my baby is mean. I hate to tell when she is hurting. I hate to tell when she is frustrated. I hate to tell about moments that may put her "typical" opportunities at risk. I hate to tell when I don't know what to do.
I am thankful that even bad days are not too insignificant for God's attention. I am thankful that God knows the answers.
I will continue to give her negative behavior the negative consequences that it deserves. I will not turn a blind eye. I will pray. Hard. I will be hopeful and prayerful that she will make better choices as she learns that her friends respond positively to positive choices.
I will pray that her friends will not be hurt. I will pray that they will not fear her and shun her.
I will pray that she will find her place. And I pray that I will have the strength and insight to help her find it..
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
31 for 21: #20 Clarifications
In writing the last 2 entries, I neglected those of you who don't really know me.
I am a freaky, verging on obsessive, mother. While I have never been a freaky germ person (barring the time Elise was on Chemo and the following year while her white blood cell count was low), I am very aware of my kids and their safety. In case any of you lovely people were considering calling DFCS, the post on Elise's opportunistic abilities was an illustration of her abounding abilities and stick-to-it-iveness in the face of her IQ...every time she does something, I am forced to try to "proof" it.
This is tricky, because her abilities have her advanced enough that if you "Elise Proof It" then you have "You Proofed It", too. I currently have 3 gates up, twist-ties up on two cabinets, a zip-loc on the fridge, 6 barrel bolt locks, we installed a key lock in the front door, we are considering installing another 3 barrel bolts or 2 key locks...We wall-mounted our TV to protect it. I have locked all the doors inside the house and carried hair pins to let myself in for months...this hacks Ethan off, but he also doesn't like his stuff broken or carried off or dropped off the porch railing (oh, yes. the voice of experience again). She has broken 4 toilet locks, 5 "safety pin locks", and ripped screwed in locks out of the wall. If I don't want her watching TV, then I have to unscrew the cable co-ax cable.
I just wanted you to know that her antics and their consequences are not for lack of preventative measures. It is just that the part of your brain that tells you that something is a bad idea is not mature in Elise, yet. And she is super impulsive. (The pediatrician is considering a secondary ADHD diagnosis, too.) I watch her like a hawk, but I can't be "On" 24/7, and this fact scares me. I pray. A lot.
I also have notified all the neighbors of her penchants and how to get a hold of me and which house is ours. Thankfully, she tends to visit the same people. She finds someone she likes and revisits...so we have regular spots to check...
I have also bought a Brickhouse Child Locator for times when we are allowing more experiments in personal freedom.
And on the entry subject of grooming and clothing choices, we are not discussing naughty child, I-don't-like-that-so-I-won't-wear-it, fits...we're talking sensory processing/defensiveness issues. So, that is a whole other barrel of monkeys. This is one of the additional benefits of her Hippotherapy. We see a significant impact on these behaviors and see a difference in her behaviors when we miss a week. (I do have a lot of sympathy for this, as I have struggled with it myself for years, too.)
With the sensory "stuff", she also pets things and people. And while it can make you nuts if she's petting your eyebrows or eyelashes while you are trying to watch TV, it really is sweet. You feel very loved. So there are perks. :)
I just wanted you to know that I have not thrown up my hands and said, "I just can't do anything." It's just that there are a lot of outside factors that need to be figured in. We continuously try new things and constantly make sure that she is cared for physically and encourage her independence...while keeping her as safe as we can. Honest.
I am a freaky, verging on obsessive, mother. While I have never been a freaky germ person (barring the time Elise was on Chemo and the following year while her white blood cell count was low), I am very aware of my kids and their safety. In case any of you lovely people were considering calling DFCS, the post on Elise's opportunistic abilities was an illustration of her abounding abilities and stick-to-it-iveness in the face of her IQ...every time she does something, I am forced to try to "proof" it.
This is tricky, because her abilities have her advanced enough that if you "Elise Proof It" then you have "You Proofed It", too. I currently have 3 gates up, twist-ties up on two cabinets, a zip-loc on the fridge, 6 barrel bolt locks, we installed a key lock in the front door, we are considering installing another 3 barrel bolts or 2 key locks...We wall-mounted our TV to protect it. I have locked all the doors inside the house and carried hair pins to let myself in for months...this hacks Ethan off, but he also doesn't like his stuff broken or carried off or dropped off the porch railing (oh, yes. the voice of experience again). She has broken 4 toilet locks, 5 "safety pin locks", and ripped screwed in locks out of the wall. If I don't want her watching TV, then I have to unscrew the cable co-ax cable.
I just wanted you to know that her antics and their consequences are not for lack of preventative measures. It is just that the part of your brain that tells you that something is a bad idea is not mature in Elise, yet. And she is super impulsive. (The pediatrician is considering a secondary ADHD diagnosis, too.) I watch her like a hawk, but I can't be "On" 24/7, and this fact scares me. I pray. A lot.
I also have notified all the neighbors of her penchants and how to get a hold of me and which house is ours. Thankfully, she tends to visit the same people. She finds someone she likes and revisits...so we have regular spots to check...
I have also bought a Brickhouse Child Locator for times when we are allowing more experiments in personal freedom.
And on the entry subject of grooming and clothing choices, we are not discussing naughty child, I-don't-like-that-so-I-won't-wear-it, fits...we're talking sensory processing/defensiveness issues. So, that is a whole other barrel of monkeys. This is one of the additional benefits of her Hippotherapy. We see a significant impact on these behaviors and see a difference in her behaviors when we miss a week. (I do have a lot of sympathy for this, as I have struggled with it myself for years, too.)
With the sensory "stuff", she also pets things and people. And while it can make you nuts if she's petting your eyebrows or eyelashes while you are trying to watch TV, it really is sweet. You feel very loved. So there are perks. :)
I just wanted you to know that I have not thrown up my hands and said, "I just can't do anything." It's just that there are a lot of outside factors that need to be figured in. We continuously try new things and constantly make sure that she is cared for physically and encourage her independence...while keeping her as safe as we can. Honest.
31 for 21: #19 Searching for Pants, Sam I Am!
Elise does not like to be bathed. She does not like to get her hair wet. She does not like to take a shower. She does not like to be scrubbed. She does not like to be baby wiped. She does not like to have her hair brushed. She does not like to have her hair put into pony-tails. She does not like tooth brushes. She does not like tooth paste.
In short, she does not like to be groomed.
She does not like to change her clothes. She does not like shoes. She does not like socks with terry cloth loops inside. She does not like flip flops. She does not like to walk in bare feet outside. She does not like to walk on grit on hard-wood floors. She does not like certain fleeces. She does not like velcro. She does not like sweaters. She does not like tights. She does not like panties that are too loose. She does not like panties that are too tight. She does not like hats. She does not like cuffs on shirts. She does not like the internal adjustable elastics in the waist band of her pants. She does not like belts. She does not like pants that are too long. She does not like her pant legs rolled up. She does not like buttons. She does not like turtle necks. She does not like skirts. She does not like leggings. She does not like what you must wear, She does not like them here or there, She does not like them, Sam I Am...
In short, finding clothes that she likes to wear is holy you-know-what.
Seriously, I hate season change because we have to go through all her clothes to see what fits. And then there is a whole 'nother issue to see what she is willing to wear of those that fit...After a few weeks into this science experiment money is no object if we could get dressed without a fit.
Right now Elise likes stripes and Gabriel's hand-me-down t-shirts. And a pair of Nike tennis shoes that won't fit for more than another month...they may really be too small now. (Which precludes half of her socks.) Pants? Um, we are still looking for some that don't drive her to spitting and keening...
I admit to letting her sleep in whatever shirt she will wear the next day. I have been known to wait on brushing her hair until she is in her car seat and can't get away. I am paying her off for putting on her pants, shoes, and brushing her teeth with movies on my iPod....and who knows what new lows I will have to stoop to. I like to think that this area of life will get better with better communication skills. When she can tell me why she likes particular items of clothing so that we can duplicate them, it will certainly open our options...
Once she is clean, she is charming and beautiful. Once she is in clothes and on to the activities of the day, she is great fun.
But if she could be washed and dressed in her sleep, it would make things easier. Much, MUCH easier.
And that's all I have to say about that. :)
In short, she does not like to be groomed.
She does not like to change her clothes. She does not like shoes. She does not like socks with terry cloth loops inside. She does not like flip flops. She does not like to walk in bare feet outside. She does not like to walk on grit on hard-wood floors. She does not like certain fleeces. She does not like velcro. She does not like sweaters. She does not like tights. She does not like panties that are too loose. She does not like panties that are too tight. She does not like hats. She does not like cuffs on shirts. She does not like the internal adjustable elastics in the waist band of her pants. She does not like belts. She does not like pants that are too long. She does not like her pant legs rolled up. She does not like buttons. She does not like turtle necks. She does not like skirts. She does not like leggings. She does not like what you must wear, She does not like them here or there, She does not like them, Sam I Am...
In short, finding clothes that she likes to wear is holy you-know-what.
Seriously, I hate season change because we have to go through all her clothes to see what fits. And then there is a whole 'nother issue to see what she is willing to wear of those that fit...After a few weeks into this science experiment money is no object if we could get dressed without a fit.
Right now Elise likes stripes and Gabriel's hand-me-down t-shirts. And a pair of Nike tennis shoes that won't fit for more than another month...they may really be too small now. (Which precludes half of her socks.) Pants? Um, we are still looking for some that don't drive her to spitting and keening...
I admit to letting her sleep in whatever shirt she will wear the next day. I have been known to wait on brushing her hair until she is in her car seat and can't get away. I am paying her off for putting on her pants, shoes, and brushing her teeth with movies on my iPod....and who knows what new lows I will have to stoop to. I like to think that this area of life will get better with better communication skills. When she can tell me why she likes particular items of clothing so that we can duplicate them, it will certainly open our options...
Once she is clean, she is charming and beautiful. Once she is in clothes and on to the activities of the day, she is great fun.
But if she could be washed and dressed in her sleep, it would make things easier. Much, MUCH easier.
And that's all I have to say about that. :)
Monday, October 18, 2010
31 for 21: #18 Smarts
This society wants their kids to the be the smartest and the best. The comparisons start early. We want our kids in the "best" daycares and preschools. We watch their grades like hawks. We push them to do their best at T-ball and high school football. We all but over load them in extra curricular activities from the time they can talk and walk. We test their IQ's and make them do flashcards over the summer.
There are some people in this world that have IQ's that are sky high, gifted beyond gifted, that barely function in society. Their intelligence alone affords them full rides to colleges and graduate schools, they however have no commonplace abilities that allow them opportunities in the day-to-day. They have difficulty making friends and they have difficulty holding jobs because their brains are living at a different plane from their bodies. They are often unhappy and wander through life searching for someone who understands them.
There are people whose IQ's are so low that society is horrified that their parents chose to have them, because they cannot possibly have a good quality of life. And yet these same people work multiple jobs, have TONS of friends, and love their life. The world is their oyster because they make the most of their opportunities. They make friends because they see the best in others and want to understand them!
How badly are we mis-judging others? Who really has the best quality of life, here?
Elise has a scary low IQ at present. (Like she should be sitting in the corner staring at nothing.) She is virtually non-verbal on the testing scale, and this skews her results. We had to get a psychological evaluation for a secondary insurance, but I declined to allow the results to be evaluated for her IEP (Individualized Education Plan). These are the kind of numbers that a licensed professional would look at and tell me that my child will have a terrible quality of life and no opportunities.
In real life, however, Elise has a concrete understanding of opportunities unlike anyone I have ever met. She utilizes her time in a way that puts her siblings to shame. She can actively plan as she goes to get maximum results.
For example, I can go the the bathroom and she will utilize those five minutes to get a chair, bring it over to the pantry, get in the door lock, scale the shelves to get her favorite box of crackers, pour it into a cup, put everything back, and snarf down the crackers. The only evidence of this activity being her Wheat Thin-y breath, a random cup with crumbs at the bottom, and a pantry door that is ajar.
I can take a shower and she will get out of the house (we have since put up bolts at the top of the doors), break into the neighbor's house, steal several Frisbees, play with their dog, feed it the loaf of bread she took over, come back in the house, load up a DVD of her choice, change the TV input feed, and push play...with the only evidence the empty bread bag in their yard and the not-our-Frisbees in the magazine rack. (Oh, and lest you think I indulge in long showers, I can shower and dress in less than 10 minutes.)
Elise ate all the leftover desserts from our Stew and Pumpkins Party last night, because I was putting away our laundry and told her to wait 15 minutes til I could make supper. And by all, I mean all. She ate 3 mini cupcakes, with a spoon and a plate. And probably 6 pumpkin sugar cookies with sprinkles. (It makes me absolutely sick to think about eating that much sugar on an empty stomach.) This was done with her brother and sister in the adjoining room, so it must have been done silently, as well, or they would have stopped it, or gotten in on the raid. Opportunistic, doesn't begin to give it the recognition it deserves.
She is not one to miss opportunities. I am confident that this will extend to her future. She can't help but succeed...and surprise anyone who looks at numbers alone.
She likes to dress up in wraps and scarves and tell me that she is a "surprise". Yup, that's pretty much it in a nutshell. As usual, she knows what she's talking about.
There are some people in this world that have IQ's that are sky high, gifted beyond gifted, that barely function in society. Their intelligence alone affords them full rides to colleges and graduate schools, they however have no commonplace abilities that allow them opportunities in the day-to-day. They have difficulty making friends and they have difficulty holding jobs because their brains are living at a different plane from their bodies. They are often unhappy and wander through life searching for someone who understands them.
There are people whose IQ's are so low that society is horrified that their parents chose to have them, because they cannot possibly have a good quality of life. And yet these same people work multiple jobs, have TONS of friends, and love their life. The world is their oyster because they make the most of their opportunities. They make friends because they see the best in others and want to understand them!
How badly are we mis-judging others? Who really has the best quality of life, here?
Elise has a scary low IQ at present. (Like she should be sitting in the corner staring at nothing.) She is virtually non-verbal on the testing scale, and this skews her results. We had to get a psychological evaluation for a secondary insurance, but I declined to allow the results to be evaluated for her IEP (Individualized Education Plan). These are the kind of numbers that a licensed professional would look at and tell me that my child will have a terrible quality of life and no opportunities.
In real life, however, Elise has a concrete understanding of opportunities unlike anyone I have ever met. She utilizes her time in a way that puts her siblings to shame. She can actively plan as she goes to get maximum results.
For example, I can go the the bathroom and she will utilize those five minutes to get a chair, bring it over to the pantry, get in the door lock, scale the shelves to get her favorite box of crackers, pour it into a cup, put everything back, and snarf down the crackers. The only evidence of this activity being her Wheat Thin-y breath, a random cup with crumbs at the bottom, and a pantry door that is ajar.
I can take a shower and she will get out of the house (we have since put up bolts at the top of the doors), break into the neighbor's house, steal several Frisbees, play with their dog, feed it the loaf of bread she took over, come back in the house, load up a DVD of her choice, change the TV input feed, and push play...with the only evidence the empty bread bag in their yard and the not-our-Frisbees in the magazine rack. (Oh, and lest you think I indulge in long showers, I can shower and dress in less than 10 minutes.)
Elise ate all the leftover desserts from our Stew and Pumpkins Party last night, because I was putting away our laundry and told her to wait 15 minutes til I could make supper. And by all, I mean all. She ate 3 mini cupcakes, with a spoon and a plate. And probably 6 pumpkin sugar cookies with sprinkles. (It makes me absolutely sick to think about eating that much sugar on an empty stomach.) This was done with her brother and sister in the adjoining room, so it must have been done silently, as well, or they would have stopped it, or gotten in on the raid. Opportunistic, doesn't begin to give it the recognition it deserves.
She is not one to miss opportunities. I am confident that this will extend to her future. She can't help but succeed...and surprise anyone who looks at numbers alone.
She likes to dress up in wraps and scarves and tell me that she is a "surprise". Yup, that's pretty much it in a nutshell. As usual, she knows what she's talking about.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
31 for 21: #5 Angels with Dirty Faces
Hmmm.
I love Elise. I am sure that by now you have seen this. I just wanted to clarify this before I write this one.
Elise is no angel. For one, I'm pretty sure that angels don't hit people and spit at them on a regular basis. I am also very secure in the fact that if someone is afraid of an angel it isn't because they are fearing a kick in the teeth.
If Elise is rough in her showing of affection (her "drive-by hugs" will just about unseat all but the burliest of men), then she is pretty stringent in her showing of disapproval. There will be ABSOLUTELY NO QUESTION if she dislikes something.
I have a somewhat "off" take on the use of "retarded", and I also take issue with the generalization that all people with Down Syndrome are loving, mild-mannered, long-suffering, "angels". (I can be taken out back and shot later...) But my baby girl could not pass as an angel unless she was asleep. I'm serious. I adore her and treasure what she has shown me, and I truly believe that she has brought real-live angels into my life, but pardon me if I insist that list does not include her.
Elise is on the green light at school on Mondays, apparently refreshed coming off of the weekend...and then the behavior chart takes a nose dive...Yellow, to Orange, to Red. Her teachers added Orange to the behavior chart because Elise was blowing through it too fast...and they wanted her to have more chance at success. (More on that another day!)
If we as parents don't want the negative stereotypes applied to our kiddies, I would like to add the "positive" stereotypes may not apply either. They're just kids after all! They are all different. They may have blue eyes or brown, they may look like their mama or their daddy...They may show one or many of the physical manifestations of their diagnoses. They may love princesses or baseball...
They are not angels or monsters...they are just kids...
I love Elise. I am sure that by now you have seen this. I just wanted to clarify this before I write this one.
Elise is no angel. For one, I'm pretty sure that angels don't hit people and spit at them on a regular basis. I am also very secure in the fact that if someone is afraid of an angel it isn't because they are fearing a kick in the teeth.
If Elise is rough in her showing of affection (her "drive-by hugs" will just about unseat all but the burliest of men), then she is pretty stringent in her showing of disapproval. There will be ABSOLUTELY NO QUESTION if she dislikes something.
I have a somewhat "off" take on the use of "retarded", and I also take issue with the generalization that all people with Down Syndrome are loving, mild-mannered, long-suffering, "angels". (I can be taken out back and shot later...) But my baby girl could not pass as an angel unless she was asleep. I'm serious. I adore her and treasure what she has shown me, and I truly believe that she has brought real-live angels into my life, but pardon me if I insist that list does not include her.
Elise is on the green light at school on Mondays, apparently refreshed coming off of the weekend...and then the behavior chart takes a nose dive...Yellow, to Orange, to Red. Her teachers added Orange to the behavior chart because Elise was blowing through it too fast...and they wanted her to have more chance at success. (More on that another day!)
If we as parents don't want the negative stereotypes applied to our kiddies, I would like to add the "positive" stereotypes may not apply either. They're just kids after all! They are all different. They may have blue eyes or brown, they may look like their mama or their daddy...They may show one or many of the physical manifestations of their diagnoses. They may love princesses or baseball...
They are not angels or monsters...they are just kids...
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