This may seem like a no-brainer...but keep tabs on your child's progress on their IEP goals.
I mean, you go to ALL this trouble to duke it out at the IEP meeting, Don't forget about it and assume that the goals are being addressed and met!
As my mom said, keep all your materials (notes, testing, IEP) on your child stored and organized. Take them out and check your child's progress report against them periodically. The most obvious time is at "report card time". But I also check about halfway, either in conjunction with their teacher, or just a quickie run through at home. Make sure that they are all being addressed. Check our their actual progress, assess if the IEP goals need to be expanded, or even if there needs to be goal regression or breakdown.
If your child has a breakthrough quarter and meets all of the goals, then you need to call another IEP meeting to rewrite goals. Reward the success, with the child AND THEIR TEACHERS AND THERAPISTS, with treats or simple sweet and complimentary words about how proud and thankful you are. And then push them to greater success and independence.
If your child seems to be struggling and the goals seem to stretch out before you, heavy and demanding. You have two choices: 1) rewrite the goals with a greater chance of success or 2) break down the goals on your own and reward your child and compliment the teachers/therapists at positive intervals. Personally, I usually shoot for the second, the whole "shooting for the stars" kind of thing...but I never hesitate to rejoice and share my rejoicing at accomplishments! Mostly because if you constantly fight, fight, fight for a huge future and forget to get excited about the baby steps, you and your child will become discouraged.
Never forget that while the IEP meeting is important for the direction of the year, and it is then becomes an everyday guidepost. And that it is your responsibility to call to accounting.
Showing posts with label IEP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IEP. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Monday, October 8, 2012
31 for 21: #8 Tiffany's Top Ten Tips for IEPs: Confessions
Okay. Confession time.
You want to know why I know all these tips? I am a former inclusion teacher. I used to be on the THEM side of the table.
I remember what struck me about parents. I remember what made me respect them. I remember the earnestness in their eyes as they pleaded for the best. I remember the respect and support and tools they gave me to help me be the best teacher for their child. I remember what made me realize that they were there, spoiling for a fight, and weren't really there for their child. I remember what red flagged them as wanting to win at all costs, even their child's future. I even remember what I told myself I'd do, if I was on the other side of the table. And believe it or not, even now, 10 years later. I am following my old notes.
I also know what my old tricks were. I confess there were things I did to parents, subtly, that made them think that my ideas were their ideas...that I used for the best for their kids, but I have seen less scrupulous teachers push things onto parents that were simply to lessen their load. (It's like a sophisticated Jedi Mind Trick.)
There are ways that you can phrase a question or even their own words that backs into the door. You take what they say and turn it just a smidge sideways to where the direction tilts, and they follow right through that door. SO, if a teacher or principal or facilitator, uses most of your exact words but it's not quite what you said, listen carefully. HEAR the direction in which it leads....make sure that's where you wanted to go.
When Elise was 5-7 years old, I had to battle our facilitator, who kept trying to tweak my words, feed them back wrong, and I saw exactly what he was doing. I repeated myself without acknowledging what he was doing...for 2 meetings. The third meeting, I called him on it. I told him that I didn't want that, that I knew what he was doing, that I used to do it myself, but that I did it to benefit students, not to deprive them of their right to the least restrictive environment. I told him, calmly, that the teachers had no problem with a trial period, and that if they were comfortable with it, that he should not mind. I was never ugly. I never raised my voice. I never threatened. I even allowed for them to push for Math full inclusion, when I wanted Reading full inclusion, even though I knew it would be an epic fail...but I requested that we do both if we did one...and ultimately, my call was correct...and the Jedi Mind Trick did not come up again, but neither did eye contact, support, nor any personal address again. Not that it upset me. But I have wondered how many parents he was successful with...for detrimental results on their kids...?
I will say though, in coming up on 7 years of dealing with the school system, only two people have have attempted to deliberately NOT provide the best for my Elise, whether it was what I specifically wanted or thought would be successful or not (my battle unfortunately continued to rage in the same spot with the same two people for 2 years...) ...so, try to assess the situation before you assume that everyone is out to get you...look for the best, while watching out for the worst. Work with people when you can, before fighting with them. Use them as allies, before addressing them as adversaries.
Don't close your eyes, though, and be honest with what you see. And certainly don't close your ears, and make sure you listen to their hearts...
You want to know why I know all these tips? I am a former inclusion teacher. I used to be on the THEM side of the table.
I remember what struck me about parents. I remember what made me respect them. I remember the earnestness in their eyes as they pleaded for the best. I remember the respect and support and tools they gave me to help me be the best teacher for their child. I remember what made me realize that they were there, spoiling for a fight, and weren't really there for their child. I remember what red flagged them as wanting to win at all costs, even their child's future. I even remember what I told myself I'd do, if I was on the other side of the table. And believe it or not, even now, 10 years later. I am following my old notes.
I also know what my old tricks were. I confess there were things I did to parents, subtly, that made them think that my ideas were their ideas...that I used for the best for their kids, but I have seen less scrupulous teachers push things onto parents that were simply to lessen their load. (It's like a sophisticated Jedi Mind Trick.)
There are ways that you can phrase a question or even their own words that backs into the door. You take what they say and turn it just a smidge sideways to where the direction tilts, and they follow right through that door. SO, if a teacher or principal or facilitator, uses most of your exact words but it's not quite what you said, listen carefully. HEAR the direction in which it leads....make sure that's where you wanted to go.
When Elise was 5-7 years old, I had to battle our facilitator, who kept trying to tweak my words, feed them back wrong, and I saw exactly what he was doing. I repeated myself without acknowledging what he was doing...for 2 meetings. The third meeting, I called him on it. I told him that I didn't want that, that I knew what he was doing, that I used to do it myself, but that I did it to benefit students, not to deprive them of their right to the least restrictive environment. I told him, calmly, that the teachers had no problem with a trial period, and that if they were comfortable with it, that he should not mind. I was never ugly. I never raised my voice. I never threatened. I even allowed for them to push for Math full inclusion, when I wanted Reading full inclusion, even though I knew it would be an epic fail...but I requested that we do both if we did one...and ultimately, my call was correct...and the Jedi Mind Trick did not come up again, but neither did eye contact, support, nor any personal address again. Not that it upset me. But I have wondered how many parents he was successful with...for detrimental results on their kids...?
I will say though, in coming up on 7 years of dealing with the school system, only two people have have attempted to deliberately NOT provide the best for my Elise, whether it was what I specifically wanted or thought would be successful or not (my battle unfortunately continued to rage in the same spot with the same two people for 2 years...) ...so, try to assess the situation before you assume that everyone is out to get you...look for the best, while watching out for the worst. Work with people when you can, before fighting with them. Use them as allies, before addressing them as adversaries.
Don't close your eyes, though, and be honest with what you see. And certainly don't close your ears, and make sure you listen to their hearts...
Monday, October 1, 2012
31 for 21, 2012: #1 Tiffany's Top Ten Tips for IEPs
I am not missing the irony of this post today. I decided to organize my closet...again... And realized that in my casual clothes, I have a couple pairs of jeans, and two shirts cuts in 5 different colors...and flip flops. You could probably turn me over to What Not To Wear, and I would make the cut...not something to be proud of...BUT when it comes to my daughter, I willingly utilize my clothes for power. Which brings us to the first of my Ten IEP Tips.
Number One Tip at the IEP Meetings:
Dress like you are in charge.
I know this sounds silly, but a lot of IEP power plays are mental. And the first power play is a power suit. I am not advocating that you wear a real suit, like the stereotypical interview suit...but a suit of clothes that calls for respect, and that makes you feel strong.
YOU CANNOT GO TO AN IEP IN YOUR YOGA PANTS AND WORKOUT SHIRT AND DEMAND RESPECT.
You are trying to sell your ideas to professionals. You have to dress like you are a professional.
There are two types. The one that makes you look like you are in charge. And the one that plays up your features.
The one that makes you look like you are in charge. By this, your dress clothes that are well-fitted, good jewelry, good accessories. You wear more formal clothes. Maybe even wear your church clothes: skirt, slacks, button shirts. You look visibly put together, even if you are feeling ragged and afraid of the meeting's outcome. You look like you are informed. You look like you can take the opposition. (Like a lawyer or a principal.) I usually choose this one the first meeting that I have with my child's teacher and/or their principal. I always choose this if I don't like the principal.
The other kind is to pick a few features that are striking. Ones that make you feel GOOD. You still have to dress like you are together, but you can play in a little bit more comfortable territory. In this world, more a business casual: chic jeans, collared top or blouse, high heels, or nice flats and a casual skirt...This version is as much a mental game with yourself as with those across the table. You are boosting your own confidence, like how you dress on a date that you really want to go well. I use this if I know and like everyone at the meeting. It invites their confidences, but it assures that you are still a force to be reckoned with.
I usually play the tall card. I am 5'8". I wear stack heels, and you can seriously play with other peoples' insecurity if you can throw out a bonus 3 inches. The power in looking down on someone cannot be overstated. I wear strong eye make-up, and no lipstick. I want my eyes to demand eye-contact. The clothes I wear depend on my mood. If I think that I may cry in a meeting, I wear my most uncomfortable shoes so I am hyper aware of my feet. I feel more aware of my feet than my emotions that way. Same goes for a scratchy sweater or uncomfortable clothes.
I make sure that I am as good as I can sell myself, so the people on the other side of the table cannot write me off at first glance.
First impressions are important. I am sorry, but we are all human, and we assess the competition at sporting events, in politics, and even at your kid's IEP meeting. And every little bit matters.
Number One Tip at the IEP Meetings:
Dress like you are in charge.
I know this sounds silly, but a lot of IEP power plays are mental. And the first power play is a power suit. I am not advocating that you wear a real suit, like the stereotypical interview suit...but a suit of clothes that calls for respect, and that makes you feel strong.
YOU CANNOT GO TO AN IEP IN YOUR YOGA PANTS AND WORKOUT SHIRT AND DEMAND RESPECT.
You are trying to sell your ideas to professionals. You have to dress like you are a professional.
There are two types. The one that makes you look like you are in charge. And the one that plays up your features.
The one that makes you look like you are in charge. By this, your dress clothes that are well-fitted, good jewelry, good accessories. You wear more formal clothes. Maybe even wear your church clothes: skirt, slacks, button shirts. You look visibly put together, even if you are feeling ragged and afraid of the meeting's outcome. You look like you are informed. You look like you can take the opposition. (Like a lawyer or a principal.) I usually choose this one the first meeting that I have with my child's teacher and/or their principal. I always choose this if I don't like the principal.
The other kind is to pick a few features that are striking. Ones that make you feel GOOD. You still have to dress like you are together, but you can play in a little bit more comfortable territory. In this world, more a business casual: chic jeans, collared top or blouse, high heels, or nice flats and a casual skirt...This version is as much a mental game with yourself as with those across the table. You are boosting your own confidence, like how you dress on a date that you really want to go well. I use this if I know and like everyone at the meeting. It invites their confidences, but it assures that you are still a force to be reckoned with.
I usually play the tall card. I am 5'8". I wear stack heels, and you can seriously play with other peoples' insecurity if you can throw out a bonus 3 inches. The power in looking down on someone cannot be overstated. I wear strong eye make-up, and no lipstick. I want my eyes to demand eye-contact. The clothes I wear depend on my mood. If I think that I may cry in a meeting, I wear my most uncomfortable shoes so I am hyper aware of my feet. I feel more aware of my feet than my emotions that way. Same goes for a scratchy sweater or uncomfortable clothes.
I make sure that I am as good as I can sell myself, so the people on the other side of the table cannot write me off at first glance.
First impressions are important. I am sorry, but we are all human, and we assess the competition at sporting events, in politics, and even at your kid's IEP meeting. And every little bit matters.
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