Friday, February 28, 2014

The Act of True Love

Okay, so there was that weird blog rant of that lady about Frozen?  (I don't really want to give her traffic, but if you google "Frozen Mormon Gay", you should pull it up or at least a link that addresses it.)  That post saddened and perplexed me...and I replied to someone that using the argument she did, then you could argue Frozen was a symbol of learning disabilities, Autism, and pretty much anything that separates us from those we love and live with.

And so I have assigned myself to address the idea that literally hit AS I watched the movie "Frozen" the first time and has continued to haunt me as I have watched it a billion times with my kids...

I am totally reaching, here, and I know it, but I'd love for you to feel the parallels between Frozen and those who live with profound disabilities:

First of all, as the girls grow up together...Anna thinks absolutely nothing of Elsa's "powers".  As children, Anna loves Elsa and accepts her, and uses her unique abilities to increase their fun and their relationship.  They are not separated by their differences at all.

When there was a misjudgement by little girls, the parents tried to protect them both by separating the girls, and pressing Elsa into the publicly acceptable mold.  Rather than becoming comfortable with the publicly safe version of herself, Elsa panicked, became afraid of herself and any relationship, and isolated herself, hurting herself and her sister deeply.

This isolation expanded to her family and any intimate circle she had.  Their life was completely cut off from everyone else.  The barriers made nothing easy.  It prevented not only Elsa from making friendships or relationships, but Anna as well.  And ultimately the lack of comfortable relationships drove Anna to mistake coincidences and parallels for compatibility and damaged her judgement of love.  (You could even take the "symbolism" as far as saying that the oppression of keeping her true self locked down, killed the relationship with her parents.)

When Elsa let her guard down and she "slipped" out of the carefully molded public persona that she had created, she felt relief and freedom with herself being open and honest.  She discovered that the "curse" that she had lived under for her whole life, was beautiful and unique.  It created beauty and originality.

Anna, in her love for her sister, followed her, believing that communication was all it would take to open the doors and have a relationship again.  Also, because she was also broken free from the emotional lockdown by her sister's freedom, Anna was able to begin to form healthy outside relationships again.  Those relationships broadened her wisdom and experience and offered yet more relationships to enter her life offering more wisdom...I will go so far as to say that the lyrics of "Fixer Upper" are possibly the healthiest view on love that Disney has ever set forth:

"We aren't saying you can change him
'Cause people don't really change
We're only saying that love's a force that's powerful and strange
People make bad choices if they're mad or scared or stressed
But throw a little love their way, and you'll bring out their best
True love brings out the best

Everyone's a bit of a fixer upper
That's what it's all about
Father, sister, brother
We need each other
To raise us up and round us out"

Ultimately, Elsa never was forced to beat her "oddities" into submission.  She did not have her kingdom taken away.  Instead, her sister saved the slowly freezing petrification of their sisterhood, by sacrificing her happiness and entire future for her sister, AS IS.  That love allowed Elsa rejoin her life and, in the movie's case, her kingdom.  She was able to use her experiences to be a beloved queen, without hiding her core, and that very core, became a source of magic, and enchantment even, among others.

The "sacrifice" turned out not to destroy Anna's life at all.  It began healing them all, the sisters, all they come into contact with, and even further circles reaching exponentially...

Now.  Instead of "crazy ice magic" put in Autism, Down Syndrome, giftedness, Asperger's, and any disabilities and unique perspectives....and see the ice melt away from some of even your potential friendships...

YOUR act of true brotherly or sisterly love to your family members, friends, or those in your path, could be the gesture that frees someone from fear and self loathing and oppression.

True love is so much more than romantic love on major card-giving holidays.

Think about it.


  1. You've made me want to see the movie... even though I don't have kids to watch it with!

    1. I'll be superbly curious what you think when you watch it, Angel!