So I just got off the phone with Elise's ENT's nurse practitioner. She is super nice. Her name is Carol. I have her personal email. I recognize her phone number. I greet the phone with, "Hey, Carol." I did not know her before. I have never hung out at a coffee shop with her, but I have spent an excessive amount of time with her and on the phone with her. She is married, and has two kids. She is allergic to milk and is pretty sure she's allergic to grass, too. That's why she can't take the alfalfa tablets that her very homeopathic-friendly supervising physician sells.
What on earth? How do I know her this well? She's one of Elise's specialists. I am also on a first name basis with 3 oncology nurse practitioners, 2 oncology physicians, one cardiology physician, 3 pediatricians, 4 pediatric nurse practitioners, and a surgery scheduler. Also a whole host of nurses. And a partridge in a pear tree...in case you're keeping track.
I was comfortable with the medical world before I had Elise. I had planned to go into medicine. I think God was prepping me for my own life. I am comfortable in a hospital, my dad is a nurse anesthetist, and he always used proper medical terminology for just about everything...and so I pretty much know what everyone is talking about. I have, of course, added to my medical glossary with Elise's conditions. For example, I know what a frenulum is now. You have 3 in your mouth. They are the little "thingies" that tie your your lips to your gums, and ties your tongue to the bottom of your mouth. And they both bleed like snot if they get torn. And there are other lovely things I probably would have preferred to live in blissful ignorance about.
I know what screening questions they are going to ask if you call the urgent care nurses due to a fall or injury...and for the most part, I know if it is worth a phone call or a Popsicle or a straight drive to the emergency room.
I like the doctors and nurses that are in all the offices we frequent. They are sweet. I am sure we are subsidizing their retirement, but after the wailing and kicking and attempted bites they take. I assure you, they deserve it.
There has always been a curtain up between doctors and their patients...I am not sure why that is. I am not quite sure why we have been admitted to the friendly side, but I enjoy it. They are real people and deserve our appreciation. This is not to say there aren't creeps sprinkled throughout the medical world, we've met our fair share. But as brassy as I am about calling doctors on the carpet, I am just as capable of dumping those who are torturing us for no good reason. I do not suffer ineptitude.
So, if you need a specialist. I probably know one and can name names. And I know if they are good or great and who would be fun at a coffee shop to boot.
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