Friday, February 4, 2011

Hearts

A friend of mine celebrated her daughter's Happy Heart Day today. It got me to thinking of Elise's. The eighth anniversary of Elise's open heart surgery will be on Sunday.

As I've said before, I am highly amused about how the "awareness" months lined up for Elise. And how God was amazing in showing me himself that week...

As incredibly terrifying that week was, it was a flash of God's vision. I've always been struck that God never shows you the WHOLE path set before you. I believe that he KNOWS that you would panic and NEVER see the beauty he has planned. In Psalm 119:105, he only offers a light to your feet. I would have to say that week was to us, that thunderclap with lightning that showed a tiny glimpse of the path ahead.

I have never been one to hide scars or be ashamed of them. And every single time I see the artificial clevage caused by her open-heart surgery scar, I celebrate the gift of that week. I feel like the gift of her heart was an opening of mine, too. Nothing ever felt the same after that week. It was never as dark again. My hands were opened, receiving and offering back the gift of Elise's magic. My eyes were opened to the treasure she was, the continuous gift she would be.

Scars can look like they were caused by tragic events, but sometimes, scars are evidence of a repair made. In Elise's case, it was a ASD, VSD, Mitral Valve repair. In my case, it was pride of control? Complacency? The desire of ordinary? I don't know, I think I learn more about it everyday. I know that the repair has caused me a heightened awareness of the greatness of God, a passion to see more of his light, a desire to hunt his lightning, a joy to walk his path.

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