31 for 21: #19 Probably TMI

I have hesitated writing this one.  It seems like a too much information kind of post.  One that of all the posts I've made, I worry about Elise reading in 10 years and shrieking, "Oh, MoooOOOooom!!!!!"

But this is a unique low level panic in my life right now, and I am actually writing it, begging for advice and information.

Elise is telling me, on an hourly basis now, that she is 9 and wants her cake.  And she is getting taller and fluffier.  Less fat than thick...but looking like a growth spurt is in the offing for sure.

And every single doctor we go to now is asking me if she has breast buds or pubic hair...they are ALL anticipating puberty.  And that brings us to my panic.  If she cannot handle restroom situations without a little aid, what on EARTH are we going to do if she gets her period early????  I am currently praying fervently that she is a VERY late bloomer...so far we're safe.  But a little extra weight can escalate the speed with which she becomes a woman.

Okay.  The brass tacks are this: 
1)  She is not completely self-sufficient in the restroom.
2)  She is not communicative in her personal needs.
3)  She has massive sensory issues and hates things that touch her skin that are not the clothes of her choice.
4)  She hates dirty dishes and declines to touch dirty napkins....choosing to dump them in the floor.
5)  Her skin is crazy sensitive
6)  I am not ready for this.

SO.  Does anybody have any advice?  Books they can recommend?  For me or her or both?  Seriously, this is me begging.  PLEADING for direction.  Those coming behind me, I'll share whatever I get.  I promise.

Elise is independent enough to want to be independent.  But delayed enough that I'm genuinely scared.

Help.  Please.