One of the things that many people forget when faced with the IEP?
You are in charge.
Get there early and sit at the head of the table. That way you don't feel rushed or discombobulated, and it demands that you lead the discussion. You, of course, can offer the opening to the teacher or principal, but that way you do not have to try and get control later, you merely take it back.
THE IEP IS YOURS.
You can table (call for an early end without signing off) an IEP meeting if you don't like where it is going. You can table it if you feel that you need an advocate. You can table it if you want to do more research. You do NOT HAVE TO SIGN ANYTHING. The meeting is always yours and it's main directive is to make your child as independent and successful as possible. YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD BEST. It doesn't matter what the teachers say, it doesn't even matter what the tests say. YOU SET THE TONE.
It is your responsibility to fight for your child until you have armed them to fight for themselves. Period. And if you don't know what to do, there are people out there who do and who will help you. All you have to do is ask. There are hundreds of support forums...and many "senior" blogging mamas who would love to support and mentor you...there are lawyers who specialize in special needs and are called "advocates", if it were to come to that. But you are the specialist on your child. PLEASE don't forget that. EVER.